(A Small Walk with Large Consequences)
Back in February we led a grand walk around Bordeira involving proper numbers, sensible planning, and enough people to form a rescue party if required.
Last Wednesday’s version was rather more intimate.
Four walkers.
One Heinz 57 dog.
Questionable navigation.
Excellent weather.
The Team
Steve led the expedition armed with a hat, optimism, and a route that definitely looked easier on the computer.
Karen brought common sense, which unfortunately nobody listened to.
Linda arrived with Toby — a compact mixed-breed hiking machine apparently assembled from leftover parts of several different dogs and powered entirely by enthusiasm.
And Marion quietly observed events unfolding with the expression of somebody who already suspected this might become “one of Steve’s walks.”
The Beginning: False Confidence
The day started beautifully.
Blue skies.
Warm sunshine.
Fresh coffee.
Everyone smiling.
This was before the climbing started.
The route quickly narrowed into a rocky hillside path lined with bushes apparently designed by nature specifically to attack bare legs.
Toby disappeared ahead at alarming speed while the humans adopted a more tactical pace generally known as “frequent stopping.”
The official walk notes described this section as:
“A gentle ascent with rewarding views.”
This turns out to be technically true if your definition of “gentle” comes from the North Face catalogue.
The Great Algarve Stairmaster
Eventually we climbed high above the Algarve coast with magnificent panoramic views stretching all the way to the Atlantic.
At this point Steve confidently announced:
“It’s mostly downhill from here.”
This statement had absolutely no relationship with reality.
Still, the scenery was spectacular enough to temporarily distract everyone from the fact that their legs had begun filing formal complaints.
Discovery of the Sacred Armchair
Every great expedition has a historic moment.
This walk had an Armchair.
Perched bizarrely on the edge of the hillside sat a rather tired armchair overlooking the Algarve like the throne of a retired pirate king.
Naturally Karen claimed it immediately.
The group briefly considered remaining there permanently and waving at passing hikers.
Frankly it was one of the better ideas of the day.
Return to Civilisation
Eventually the team staggered back into Bordeira dusty, sweaty, sunlit, and extremely pleased with themselves.
Emergency recovery operations commenced immediately at the café.
Cold drinks appeared.
Boots loosened.
Toby collapsed underneath the table in the satisfied manner of a dog who had successfully herded four pensioners across a mountain.
And so ended another Bordeira adventure:
- Nobody was lost
- Nobody fell off a cliff
- No airlift was required
- The sofa remains available for future expeditions
Which, by our standards, counts as an outstanding success






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